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lady_of_the_flowers

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(no subject) [Feb. 6th, 2009|01:57 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers


would you stay to fight a losing battle just because you think if you COULD win it, it would have been worth fighting for?

would you love without asking anything in return (is this brave or the ultimate cowardice?)

would you play the victim, the martyr? would you play no roll at all, a prop, a shadow, a line on the floor

does it matter what you would do at all, or does it matter what I do

speak up or say nothing at all?

or drink until the words dont matter and the silence isnt cold
and you can say anything, do anything
and fall into the floor like a lover's bed
and stay there for a while
where it is safe
where it is safe
and ... warm

or would you face it sober?
and sit your fucking ass down on the cold fucking floor next to your lovers bed
and sit on the cracks in the wood and become them
and wallow in the icey silence you've created, letting it pierce tiny holes all down your spine
down his spine
where you used to drag your nails (and who are you kidding, where you'll drag them again... next time you're tanked)
and would you lie down on the floor?
and stay there for a while
out of the warmth
because its just a little more honest down here?

just honest enough
...down here
 

 

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(no subject) [Nov. 19th, 2008|08:41 am]
lady_of_the_flowers
I won't let you get off on my suffering anymore.
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(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2008|10:38 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
117. starting tomorrow, new plan to reach 110 in 4 weeks and STAY THERE.
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(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2008|09:54 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
oh my fucking god.
WHATS GOING ON?//??
I can't fucking function anymore. my hair is falling out. and i threw up yesterday for no reason!
I ad to get up and run out of class and ended up vomiting outside
I think its stress related. I am highly dysfunctional.
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(no subject) [Oct. 10th, 2008|08:10 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
addicted.
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(no subject) [Oct. 10th, 2008|11:01 am]
lady_of_the_flowers
dinner was great :) after dinner was better :)

I don't care where this goes, right now- I'm happy
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2008|09:41 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? REALLY?!
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2008|04:09 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
when am i going to get my shit together and stop making a giant ass of myself?

survey says never.

i am so overwhelmingly frustrated with myself.
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(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2007|01:28 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
I have one thing to say: I HATE MY ENGLISH CLASS WITH MY WHOLE SOUL.

I can't deal with it its rediculous! I dont even need it! I already have the fucking credit! and my professor is totally flighty and unclear and it sucks!

someone shoot me PLEASE????

im thinking about withdrawing... anyone out there have any advice? Whats worse a terrible semester and a C-/D+ or a much wanted W ?
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2007|04:40 pm]
lady_of_the_flowers
i do not like today
i have felt like shit since the second i woke up
and nothing is going to change that
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